Well, THAT explains why little Britney hasn't been herself lately...

Some doctor in Boca has diagnosed Britney Spears as suffering from schizophrenia brought on by drinking too much Red Bull. He goes on to associate all energy drink use by teens as a signifier of the potential for schizophrenic behavior.

Let's call this what it is: irresponsible.

It's irresponsible on the part of the Boca Raton News, which published a one-source story by a publicity-hungry doctor without balancing it at all with even a simple caffeine content comparison.

But it's even more irresponsible on the part of the doctor, Dr. James Cocores, who is throwing parents who are already terrified about the behavior of their teens -- what parent isn't? -- and telling them that Red Bull is the source of that erratic behavior. Tell you what, Doc, find me a time in history when teenagers and Pop Stars haven't behaved erratically, and we can talk. Otherwise, you should know better than to offer parents the chance to lay all their guilt, fear, concern and tough love at the feet of a product that's basically a heavily sugared cup of coffee.

If your kid drinks a million Red Bulls a day, chances are he's got other problems, too. Just like Britney.