Blow Energy Drink Mix could suffer the same fate that torpedoed the first launch of Cocaine Energy Drink. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration opened an investigation into the white powder, saying the company advertises the product as an “alternative to illicit street drugs” – the same justification they used when they asked Redux Beverages to pull Cocaine from the shelves.

The Smoking Gun has the full story here.

A Pennsylvania man has one-upped the Red Bull Bandits of Illinois. William Redfern, 37, of Allentown, Pa. admitted to stealing cases of vitamin water and Monster energy drink that Davis Beverage officials estimated to be worth a total of about $100,000.

His score dwarfs the paltry $50,000 of Red Bull the Illinois pair stole at gunpoint in March of 2006 when they hijacked a pair of Red Bull trucks.

But Redfern had an advantage. He worked at the beverage warehouse and culled his haul over the course of several months, selling the cases from his trunk for $10 each. A judged arraigned Redfern Wednesday and released him on $10,000 unsecured bail, but maybe soon he’ll share a cell with the Red Bull Bandits.

For more on Redfern, click here.

For more on the Red Bull Bandits, click here.

Now that Glaceau is officially part of the Coca-Cola Company, Pepsi has taken its first shot at the popular brand of vitamin enhanced waters with a new TV commercial spot:

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A pair of Illinois men looking for the wings advertised in Red Bull commercials instead got themselves a set of prison bars.

In March of 2006, William Moctezuma, 26, of Chicago and Samer Bader, 31, of Glen Ellyn hijacked a pair of Red Bull trucks carrying about 50 grand of product.

Both pleaded guilty. A judge laid a 24-year hitch on Bader last month, and decided this week that Moctezuma should see the world through bars for the next 18 years.

Maybe the pair will try to escape the prison by sprouting Red Bull-spawned wings, but, by now, they should know better.

For the full story, click here.

Columnist and Radio and TV commentator Glenn Sacks is disgusted. He’s fired up. He’s urging his readers to call Pepsi and complain – not because of the scantily clad woman dancing in the SoBe Life Water commercial (not to mention the farting lizards) or the corpulent, bare-chested mechanic powering a car via his nipples in their fourth quarter Amp Energy commercial, but because a special effects team inflicted on-screen pain to pop star Justin Timberlake (speaking of nipples) in the second quarter’s Pepsi Stuff commercial.

The commercial featured Timberlake flying across a busy street and bashing into a mailbox post on his way to a young, attractive female Pepsi drinker who sucks dry her bottle of Pepsi in order to earn points to buy a Justin Timberlake mp3.

When Timberlake arrived, a flat panel TV crashed over his head and knocked him out. The girl’s father chugged his own share of Pepsi to earn the points for that.

“I understand slapstick humor but this was way over the line,” noted Sacks. “Timberlake is in severe pain in the ad, and gets painfully whacked in the nuts on three separate occasions. All because some pretty girl is sucking him in by drinking her Pepsi.”

To which reply: yeah, something about this definitely sucks.

To see Sacks’ column, click here.

To see the ad, click here.