Don’t expect this one to slither into the U.S. market.

Japan Tobacco Inc. introduced a new drink in Japan called “Unagi Nobori,” or, “Surging Eel.” While animal names are common for beverages, this one takes its moniker more literally than Red Bull or Venom.

Unagi Nobori contains extracts from the head and bones of the serpentine fish. If that’s not enough, the drink is formulated to taste like the slithery sea-beast.

The Japanese believe that consuming eel boosts stamina in hot weather. I believe that drinking an eel flavored beverage would boost my lunch out of my gut.

Typically, the only good way a mouse and a beverage bottle go together is when Disney partners with Coke for a promotion. Any other combination of rodents and refreshments usually induce screaming, lawsuits and bad PR, but Green Bottle USA has a new way to combine the two.

The company markets a humane mouse trap called “Catch a Mouse.” Customers attach an empty bottle to the mechanism and wait for the little critters to find their way in. Once in, they can’t get out, and you have yourself a mouse in a bottle.

From there you can release the critter a safe distance from your home, or dispose of the pest without need to touch it directly.

Or, you could stick it in the fridge and see how people react. But you shouldn’t do that. And if you do, you shouldn’t tell anyone where you got the idea.

A product popped up on my radar Wednesday that made me dread the inevitable BevNET review. Tru Blood claims to be a synthetic blood substitute. For vampires, mostly. Initially, I doubted the product’s authenticity.

But, then again, I’d met people in college who believed they were vampires – despite making it to daytime classes without turning to a pile of ash. These people would probably go for Tru Blood, and their four flavors – O, A, B and AB – would give them a little variety in their bizarre hobby.

But, as it turns out, the “product” is a piece of viral marketing to promote HBO’s new vampire show, “True Blood.”

Great. It seemed like a bad beverage idea anyway. Where are you going to go for flavor extensions? And what about line extensions? Would they produce the other three humors?

Mmm, Tru Yellow Bile.

Starbucks – that company that stands at the curious intersection of coffee house, RTD brand and beverage retailer – will close 600 company-owned stores.

The company said most of those stores opened in the last two years, and the process will also mean the termination of 12,000 employees. But that doesn’t mean that beverage industry professionals should weep in their lattes.

While the company once helped build Jones Soda, its cooler has more recently featured Starbucks-branded products or products out of the Pepsi system. The closures also likely won’t affect Starbucks’ RTD business.

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