View Full Version : Funny attempt to get Crystal Pepsi back

09-29-2008, 08:07 PM
This is something that I found on the internet:

700 Anderson Hill Road
Purchase, NY, 10577
(914) 253-2000
Massimo F. d’Amore
Chief Executive Officer

Dear Mr. d’Amore

I am writing to express my many years of thanks for the quality products the Pepsi-Cola Company has delivered into my home. With the exception of Pepsi Max (I eschew all ginseng by-products), I have tried all of your beverages. My favorite throughout the years, however, has always been Crystal Pepsi.

I am sure you receive many letters imploring you to reinstate Crystal Pepsi, and I won’t waste your time with such a useless request. I understand the nature of business and, unfortunately, Crystal Pepsi had its chance at market viability. On that note, however, I would like to offer you a business proposition.

If it suits the Pepsi-Cola Company, I would like to enter into a contract whereas your company installs a small factory line capable of producing the original Crystal Pepsi formula specifically for my personal consumption. I am willing to cover whatever initial conversion costs this start-up will incur, up to $250,000.00 (Two-hundred and fifty-thousand dollars). After that, I will pay $300.00 (Three-hundred dollars) for each case of syrup you deliver to my residence. I will supply my own soda-fountain machine. To give you an idea of future production needs, my records from 1993 suggest I will need a new case every 11 days. At the present time, I foresee no drop in this demand until my death in an estimated 35 years from now.

Please let me know as soon as possible if this deal has a chance and I will forward you to my legal counsel for final negotiations and contractual harrumphing. I would like to move forward quickly, though, so I may have my Crystal Pepsi machine up and running in time for the Super Bowl. It would really make my party sparkle (pun intended!).

Reclined in waiting,

Now the response....

Pepsi-Cola Company
September 24, 2008

Dear Mr. NDTiger,

Thank you for taking the time to contact the Pespi-Cola Company regarding Crystal Pepsi. Your letter sent to senior management has been forwarded to my attention with a request to personally respond.

It was a pleasure to read your letter and we value your kind words about our products. It was very generous of you to also share your proposal with us and we certainly appreciate your loyalty to our brand. While we feel honored, this is not something that would be at all possible. As you already know, Crystal Pepsi has been discontinued and there are no current plans to reintroduce it at this time. This is a formula licensed exclusively by Pepsi and not for individual sale or production. Please know however, we are truly flattered by your offer, nonetheless.

Although you may be disappointed by our response regarding your entrepreneurial endeavor, we thank you for thinking of us. I have taken the liberty of enclosing some special items to help you remember us here at Pepsi. We consider ourselves fortunate to count you among our valued friends!

Robin Harris
Senior Consumer Relations Representative

Included was a Pepsi t-shirt big enough for Sam Young and two coupons for a FREE 2-liter AND 12-pack of either bottles or cans. Somewhere, deep in my memory and heart, a young boy rides his bike through the Maple Lane neighborhood to the old G.L. Perry Variety Store and buys a Crystal Pepsi from the pop machine out front. This one's for you, kid.

Pepsi finally wrote me back. (http://www.ndnation.com/boards/showpost.php?b=backroom;pid=1189966;d=this)

09-29-2008, 11:33 PM
Maybe they need a different approach such as this...

Dear beloved Pepsi,

I am Mr.Tan Wong director of Hang Seng Bank Hong Kong.I have urgent and very confidential business proposition involving transfer of $24,500,000.00USD that will be of great benefit for both of us. I will give you more details as regards this transaction as soon as you notify me of your interest. Awaiting your urgent reply via my email address:(tanwong2008@live.com) which is my confidential email address.

Ehe secret code word is Crystal Pepsi

Kind Regards,

Mr. Tan Wong.

I have about 20 other versions similar to this, I get them daily.

09-30-2008, 12:28 PM
Crystal Pepsi is no laughing matter, they need to bring this **** back ASAP.