Around Super Bowl season, perhaps the only thing that can match America’s gorging of slop is the disgorging of American opinions. These opinions, of course, most commonly have nothing to do with football and everything to do with the ads, which are either shockingly bad or create responses that are shockingly bad. Sometimes both. It’s fun.
It’s the latter that caught the eye of James Poniewozik of Time, the same magazine that just a few years ago adorned its cover with a fourth grader going to town on his mother’s breast, because, you know, these are trying times and black and white text doesn’t really sell these days, even if it’s sexy black and white text.
Poniewozik, whose name sounds like a pet request from a Polish fourth grader, searches deep within himself, finds his inner Dr. King and discovers alarming facts about this country: sarcasm and bigotry still exist. Now before you, our dearest BevNET readers, call your friends to break the news, let’s take a look at Poniewozik’s take.
Coca-Cola’s Super Bowl ad featured a multi-lingual version of “America the Beautiful,” a white horse that might have belonged to Reagan and enough Coke insignia to perfectly sell out our country’s diversity in a way that few mega corporations can (tip of the hat to you, Coke).
As one might expect, the ad, and specifically the multi-lingual song, elicited a heap of red-white-n’-blue backlash from the Twittersphere. Because this is a family website and we don’t condone the use of this kind of language (unless it’s really necessary), we’ll let your imaginations ponder the response of the bigoted portion of the U.S. And while we’re not exactly sure if idiocy via social media calls for a bloated chest and a diatribe, what’s stopping Poniewozik?
“We come to America, in other words, and we become American,” he writes, perhaps while shedding a tear. “But we don’t erase everything else that we were before, we don’t forget our cultures and languages as if they never existed, and we don’t hide them as if they’re shameful or less patriotic. We bring them out and share them, and they make this country better and stronger.”
You go Poniewozik! (BevNET will seek trademark rights for this phrase if Poniewozik decides to run for political office).
Speaking of cola opposition, supervisors in San Francisco yesterday introduced a measure for the next November ballot that would bring a 2-cent per-oz. tax on sugary drinks sold in the city, according to the city’s ABC affiliate. The proposal will need approval by a majority of the city’s 11 supervisors before it goes to the ballot, and would then need two-thirds of voters before going into law.
While a bill like this immediately could make one think of sadism and cola giants, it makes this reader think about The Fizzary, a soda Mecca in San Francisco operated by some all-around righteous dudes.
“The tax, which is expected to bring in more than $30 million if approved, would be imposed on the initial distributor of the beverage and would also apply to sales of concentrate, such as powders that are mixed with liquid to produce a sugary drink,” ABC reports.
While San Franciscans could be looking at a surplus, the U.S. Department of Agriculture is down $11.5 million after purchasing concord grape juice for domestic nutrition programs, according to The Chronicle Express of Penn Yan, N.Y.
U.S. Senators Charles E. Schumer and Kirsten E. Gillibrand petitioned the move, according to the article, considering the grape industry’s excess of Concord grapes following a large crop in 2013. The juice will be used to supplement nutrition programs such as school lunches.
“Agriculture is the backbone of our economy in the Southern tier and the Finger Lakes, and we need to be supporting local growers and farmers any way we can,” Representative Tom Reed said, according to the article.
While helping out kids is cool, we’d probably throw all the grapes into a vat, roll our pants to our knees and square dance for days. But that’s why we’re not Poniewoziks.