Press Clips: Kraft and Heinz Announce Mega Merger; Coke Plans For a World Without Happiness

Heinz_Ketchup_GNM_14_oz._glassSay Hello to The Kraft Heinz Company

Kraft and Heinz are joining forces to form the world’s fifth largest food company. The companies announced the mega merger on Wednesday, sending Kraft stock soaring up more than 38 percent in morning trading, according to Reuters. The Wall Street Journal valued the deal at around $48 billion. Behind the blockbuster deal are Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc. and Brazilian private equity firm 3G Capital, who originally partnered up in 2013 to buy Heinz for $23 billion. The new food and beverage powerhouse will go by The Kraft Heinz Company and have revenues of approximately $28 billion, according to a company statement. Beverage brands in the mix include Kraft-owned Capri Sun, Kool Aid, Mio, Crystal Light, and Country Time, as well as Maxwell House, Tang, Twist, Gevalia and Tassimo.

Coke Plans For Life After “Happiness”

Has Coca-Cola had enough of their whole happiness schtick? Six years after the launch of their 2009 Wieden & Kennedy-created “Open Happiness” campaign, AdWeek reports that Coca-Cola has solicited ten creative agencies for pitches for its next global marketing campaign. Headed to Atlanta this week to make their case for Coke’s next look are Dentsu, FCB, Martin Mercado, McCann, Ogilvy, Sra Rushmore, The Cyranos, and Wieden+Kennedy.

Gaga Goes Gaga for Juice Shots

Los Angeles-based juicery Kreation has gotten a high profile plug for it’s Juicekription shot. Yesterday, Lady Gaga took to her Instagram account to co-sign the green tea, activated silicon, boron and zinc shot, which comes bottled in syringe-like packaging.

“Only in Hollywood. The Beauty Shot. I thought that was vodka and a Valium. Turns out it’s green tea and active silicon,” reads Gaga’s post.

Hopefully Kreation’s stocked up on syringes because it’s likely only a matter of time before the Little Monsters descend upon them.

More Like Blood Orange Juice, Amiright?

Look, you don’t mess with another man’s OJ. Everybody knows that, or so we thought. According to Gawker, one Baton Rouge teenager had to learn this important life lesson the hard way, when his father shot him in the buttocks with a .357 revolver during an argument over the lack of pulpy stuff in the home. Eldridge Dukes, 58, was booked on charges of attempted manslaughter and illegal use of a dangerous weapon. For everyone’s safety we hope Parish Prison carries fresh-squeezed.

Fresh & Easy to Close 30 SoCal Stores

Fresh & Easy is closing 30 of its locations  in Southern California in an effort to make way (and money) for new store formats. According to the Los Angeles Times, the El Segundo grocer is exploring the option of opening up smaller convenience stores with a focus on fresh foods. In total, Fresh & Easy will close 50 stores, slightly less than 30 percent of its 167 locations.