Starbucks – that company that stands at the curious intersection of coffee house, RTD brand and beverage retailer – will close 600 company-owned stores.

The company said most of those stores opened in the last two years, and the process will also mean the termination of 12,000 employees. But that doesn’t mean that beverage industry professionals should weep in their lattes.

While the company once helped build Jones Soda, its cooler has more recently featured Starbucks-branded products or products out of the Pepsi system. The closures also likely won’t affect Starbucks’ RTD business.

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Today, outside of the BevNET world headquarters in Harvard Square, Advertising Ace John McKenna spotted what could be a tea-leaf-like sign of Red Bull’s future. A passing car crushed a can of Red Bull like the first-moving energy drink once crushed its competitors, and the resulting splatter-pattern strongly resembled the logo of Dark Dog Energy Drink:

Dark Dog has a U.S. presence that’s about as strong as beer in Utah. While Red Bull has steadily lost market share to Monster over the past few years, it’s hard to imagine its Europe-based competitor would be able to make much of a move on it. Unless there are darker forces at work! We haven’t heard word that Dark Dog hired a witch doctor, but we can’t be sure. If anyone sees black swirling clouds over either Red Bull or Dark Dog’s HQ, let us know. And don’t make them mad.

In what may be the most high-brow examination ever performed on a beverage containing high-fructose corn syrup, New York Times wine critic Eric Asimov turned his attention to root beer this week.

Asimov and his tasting panel evaluated 25 root beers available to New York residents, and – amid light-hearted writing that seemed to poke fun at the writer’s own seriousness – managed to find some wisdom on the world of root beer.

Root beer comes in many varieties from many sources, Asimov wrote, not unlike craft beers. There is no definitive root beer formula, leaving root beer makers the room to experiment with different flavor profiles.

The article included the panel’s top ten brands, with grocery staple IBC and Wisconsin brand Sprecher taking the top two slots. Asimov and the tasters also took the time to compose short audio presentations on six of the top root brews.

Click here to see the article.

Anheuser-Busch has contacted Grupo Modelo about a possible merger to make the American brewery too expensive for InBev. See the clip below.

InBev offered Anheuser-Busch a $46 billion buyout. Watch the clip below for more.

Logan Gola’s Blow Energy Drink Mix got exactly the kind of attention that the BevNET staff was afraid it would.

Last week, U.S. Rep. Mary Bono-Mack – while standing next to a representative from the Betty Ford Clinic – urged Gola to pull his product from the market.

She also called him a “scumbag.”

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It looks like beverage burglars have diversified. The latest pair of drink thieves moved beyond energy drinks and included Loganberry Tea and Jones Soda in their Red Bull heist. Their $7,000 score paled compared to earlier Red Bull and Monster bandits, who jacked $50,000 and $100,000, respectively.

These two may want to consider a career change. They’re not only going to jail, but they’re also worse at beverage filching than their predecessors.

Get the full story here.

Two researchers have an idea that could put the power to reduce global warming into your hands – specifically into your beverage bottles.

Dr. Thomas E. Muller and Dr. Toshiyasu Sakakura say it could be possible to cull carbon dioxide from smoke stacks and use it as a base chemical for the polycarbonate plastics used to make bottles and DVDs.

That could lead to cheaper, safer and greener products compared to current PET bottles, the researchers said. But you have to wonder, do you really want your beverages packaged in industrial waste? More importantly, how many times could you buy water in one of these and sing “Smoke on the Water” before it would stop being funny?

For more info, read the full article here.

After branching out into all-natural cola, Red Bull’s next move could be into the music industry. The New York Post reported that the energy drink company is building a multi-million dollar recording studio in Santa Monica, Cali. For more, click here.

I don’t care if it’s a day old. It’s still really funny. Courtesy of AllAboutJazz.com.

Pepsi Claims Jazz, Issues Cease and Desist

Published: April 1, 2008

By Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius

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PepsiCo, the world’s second largest soft drink company, has claimed trademark protection on the word “Jazz” and has issued cease and desist orders to anyone currently using the word other than in reference to their diet cola product of that name. Pepsi Jazz has been on the market since 2006, while the word “j—” goes back to around 1915, but PepsiCo was able to exploit a loophole in the burgeoning field of ridiculous intellectual property claims. “No one had trademarked the word,” said Pepsi spokesbastard Phil Clabbard, “so we took the opportunity to secure our brand property. We feel this will eliminate confusion that may be usurping our brand integrity and product recognition. From now on, when anyone says ‘Jazz,’ everyone will know they mean ‘Pepsi Jazz.’”

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